I pooped at EPCOT!

I faced my shit-shyness and pooped in EPCOT today! I'm so proud of myself. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me.

Poop Problems

Pooping without my cell phone is so boring! So glad it was a quick one. Whew!

Sweet Brown for President 2012!

Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation...

...a nation for Sweet Brown and her courageous battle for a cold pop.  

If this isn't Nobel Peace Prize material, then I don't know what is.

Sweet Brown for President 2012!!

My 2012 Olympic Proposal!

The year 2012 is going to be a big year for, well... everybody.  Disney's California Adventure will be debuting CarsLand, New Line Cinema will debut A Nightmare on Elm Street 2, the world is supposed to end and London will host the 2012 Summer Olympic Games!

Since I was about 27 and a half years old, I have loved the Olympics.  I remember waking up in the mornings and thinking to myself, "gah, I love the shit out of the Olympics today.  I gotta pee."  From what I've read, many exciting changes are coming to the Summer Games.  For example, did you know that women's boxing will make its debut at the Olympics in 2012?  Yup, women beating the crap out of each other is finally an Olympic sport.  I bet the entire US Olympic team is going to consist of my former students.

...but in all seriousness, this kind of disappoints me.  We should not glorify what we can already watch people do on Jerry Springer at 3am.  Well, after a lot of thought, I think I have a solution.  I say we petition to replace women's dyke boxing with something a lot more thrilling and exciting...

...midget tossing!

Yes, that's right.  I said midget tossing.  What's midget tossing?  Well, you know those little folks with the big foreheads who wish they were as tall as us?  Imagine them being flung through the air like a lawn dart.  For a little sample of my proposal, please see the video below.

As you can see, people are being entertained and the midget-y guy seems to be having a lot of fun as well.  Training would be easy.  It's cheap.  We could serve beer!  

The only obstacle would be having to find a midget to toss.  I mean, they ARE pretty rare.  In this situation, old, Asian women could be used as an alternative.  It's a win-win situation for everybody! 

So folks, I say we ban together and get this thing going!  

...how about them snapples?!

Costume Conundrum

I don't know about you, but October is my favorite month because the weather starts to cool down (it's 80 degrees out, bust out the jackets!), there's a scary movie on every channel on tv, I celebrate my birthday (Carlospalooza!!) and Halloween costumes!

This year, I've decided to go all out with my Halloween costume (no holds barred-style), but I have so many ideas that I don't know which costume to choose.  I've narrowed it down my four best choices and I want you to pick your favorite one.  Here ya go!

A Nipple-y Gorilla

Guy with a Mullet.  Definition of class.

Borat.  Enough Said.

Muscle-y, Ginger-y Carrot Top

So those are my top 4 choices.  Thoughts?  Yes?  No?  I'm so confused!  Which should I choose?!