Hi. My name is Carlos and I have road rage.

First off, I just have to say that I have really good patience.  I can sit through a bad movie (except Mighty Joe Young), watch a long, drawn-out game of golf and I even lived with my mom for 18 years (I know you're reading this woman!)...

...but I have absolute zero tolerance for stupid drivers!  So, to make myself feel better about things, I've decided to compile a short list of road-related things that piss me off.

5.  If you see your state's license plate listed anywhere on this map, then you're probably a bad driver and I don't like you.

4.  Oh.  My.  GAWD.  THIS!

3.  Is your message THAT important that it can't wait for at least a red light?  Seems like you're okay with dying on the road, but I'm not.  Put it away Rosie O'Donnell!  

2.  Is.  It.  Necessary.  To.  Break.  Every.  Ten.  Feet?  No!  

1.  People who don't know how to use their blinker!  See above... I'm talking about you Asian woman.

So what did we learn today?  GET OUTTA THE WAY!!

...how about them snapples?!